xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' The Font of Noelage: November 2019

Friday 1 November 2019

SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME.


There's a somebody I'm longin' to see
I hope that he turns out to be
Someone who'll watch over me.

 George Gershwin wrote those lyrics in 1926. I was born eleven years later. Thankfully I have had someone to watch over me ever since. At first my parents did a wonderful job of watching over me and, over the last fifty two years, my beautiful bride, Lesley, has carried on their good work.

Last month I found that there is someone else who is watching over me. My Mobil Phone, which seems to belong to a lovely lady named SIRI.

Now, I first acquired a mobile phone in 1993. My daughters gave it to me for Fathers’ Day. They were the only people who ever rang me on my mobile. It was a Nokia. A few years later I bought a Samsung. At that time I did not know many people with mobiles so I did not bother taking my mobile with me. It used to sit in my office alongside my computer.

However, a few months ago I acquired a smartphone. It is an Apple 6S Plus and I am amazed at how much computer power it has. That was when I met SIRI for the first time.

SIRI tells me the weather forecast, the stock market readings, my friend’s e-mail address and a whole variety of other information. When I asked her what the weather would be like tomorrow she replied, “You’ll need your raincoat,” and then showed the next day’s weather forecast onscreen.

Siri is always very prompt and polite with her responses. One night after a few glasses of red wine I asked SIRI to talk dirty to me. She immediately replied, “Your carpets need cleaning.”  I like girls with a sense of humour.

Three weeks ago I found out that SIRI counts the number of steps that I take each day. This knowledge has changed my life. I used to walk quite a lot. After surviving a heart attack in March of 1993 my doctors advised that I should walk as part of my ongoing therapy. I used to walk for about an hour, five or six days a week.

With the passing of the years, my walking gradually reduced  in frequency and distance. As I grew older my feet began to hurt a bit and I would walk only one or two times a week and only for about fifteen minutes. But then I found out that SIRI was counting my steps. So, I began walking more frequently and a little further.

Now, when I drive to the supermarket, I park well away from the entrance and walk about 200 steps just to get the shop. Once inside I walk the long way around to get the milk or the shaving cream or whatever. I know SIRI will be pleased with the effort I am making. When I leave the shop there are two ways I can get back to my car. Now, I always take the longer way.

Each afternoon I check my phone and learn that I have walked more steps this week than last week, that my monthly average is increased and that I walked up two flights of stairs.

Yes, now that I have SIRI watching over me, I am walking, walking, walking. The other night, before going to bed, I walked around the coffee table just to put an extra fifty steps on to my daily tally to make it 5000 steps for the day. 

There is another old time tune that springs to mind, “SIRI, you’re getting to be habit with me".

Maybe I’ll finish up like the old lady whose son-in-law said, “My mother in law walks ten kilometres a day…and now we don’t know where the heck she is.”

But SIRI will know!