Some years ago, I wrote “Confessions of a Jogger” The Confesions of a Jogger which
detailed my less than athletic jogging career. Most of the events mentioned in
that story occurred before the Federal election of 1993. That was when I had a
heart attack and was rushed to Sir Charles Gardener Hospital. The good news is that
I did not die! However, while I was there, they did some other tests and few
days later the Registrar came in and asked me, “How long have you had diabetes?
“I don’t have diabetes,” I stoutly replied.
The Registrar then showed me a string of figures showing
conclusively that my blood sugars were
well above normal, several hours after I
had eaten anything. Oh,
well, I conceded, maybe I do have diabetes.
Fortunately, the recovery therapy for heart attack and
diabetes is pretty much the same. Medication, Exercise and Diet.
So, I started taking
tablets for cardio vascular disease, hypertension and diabetes type two. I also
started eating meals that were higher in fibre and lower in salt, sugar and
fat. I started walking on a regular
basis. After my slow rehabilitation from my heart attack, I started walking any
where from 45 minutes to 90 minutes each evening after tea.On weekends in the footy
season, I would walk along the beach footpaths
between Whitfords , Sorrento and
the Hillarys Marina. Generally, I would walk one way until half time and then
turn around and then head home. As an Australian Rules game of football lasts
for two and a half hours, including quarter time, three quarter time and half-time breaks, it meant I was walking
about two and a half hours each Saturday in the footy season. In the summer
months I used to walk the circuit around the Swan River foreshore from the picnic
parkland near Coco’s Restaurant, over
the Narrows Bridge, along Riverside Drive, over the Causeway and back to the
South Perth foreshore. It was about ten kilometres and it took me just under
two hours.
My doctor as quite pleased. My blood pressure and sugar
levels were satisfactorily with in the acceptable range.
In fact, on one occasion my doctor leaned across his desk
and intoned in confidential terms, “Noel, you are one of the lucky ones. You
know, the best thing that can happen to a middle-aged man is to have heart
attack and not die.” Obviously,
I looked rather sceptical because he continued more effusively.
“ You see, Noel, if you survive the heart attack, you will
then modify your diet and change your lifestyle and this will help you live a
longer and healthier life”
Well, he was right, of course. But the happier, fitter me
was not really thrilled by the fact that
when I went walking almost everybody passed me. I would be moving along Ocean
Boulevard like Burt Lancaster, as the bemedalled native American Olympic
athlete, Jim Thorpe in Man of Bronze, when young mothers pushing prams would move
passed me as if I as standing still.
Not only young mothers. Groups of older ladies. I was in my
mid fifties at the time. Heavily engaged in conversation, blue rinsed elderly
women would breeze past me.I tried to look like I was just
out for a leisurely stroll and not a heart attack victim on a power walk for self-preservation.
It should have been humiliating, but it wasn’t. Fortunately,
I was quite used to this embarrassing phenomenon of apparently standing still
while the rest of the world passed me by. I had been groomed to always be the
person who was passed. This
grooming took place when I was a fit and healthy 26 year old in 1965. I had
recently returned from three years working and living overseas. It was the
long, summer holidays and every day my friends and I would meet up at North Cottesloe
Beach.
Two of my very good friends were Sean and Tim Walsh. They
were middle distance runners and competed each Saturday at Perry Lakes Stadium
for the Scarborough Athletics Club. Sean and
Tim generally ran in the mile race on Saturdays at the State Athletics
Association’s weekly competition. Later they competed in 1500 meter races, At various times they both won the State Mile
Championship and Tim was the first ever winner of the City to Surf Race over
about a ten mile course. They also both won the State Marathon race over forty-two
point something miles and later on,
whatever the equivalent is in kilometres.
“So,” I hear you impatiently asking, “ how did these two blokes give you your penchant for always
being passed?” Well, the simple fact is that
I was the key cog in the training regime
that enabled Sean and Tim to kick away in the final straight of a long, long race.
I was their Sprint Bunny! Just like greyhounds and whippets
chase dummy rabbits around the track, I was the dummy bunny that Sean and Tim
used to develop their sprinting technique. After a hard day of surfing, swimming,
talking, eating, lazing in the sun, watching beautiful girls at very close range
and the odd game of beach cricket, Sean and Tim would say that it was time to
go to Tomkins Park for some training. I would accompany them, not to improve my
sprinting technique because such a thing did not exist, but to be their dummy
bunny.
On arrival at the park, a sprinkler, about eighty yards
away, would be selected as the target. Sean and Tim would mark out a starting
line and I would stand about four yards in front of them. One of them would
yell “Go” and off we would sprint. Well, they would be sprinting. I was
executing what some would say was an animated fast walk.
Anyhow, I would be in front for a very few seconds and then my friends would surge
past me to the sprinkler. We would then walk back to start and repeat the
process, this time with me off an increased handicap. However, it did not
matter how big my handicap was. In every race I would be in front and then
suddenly I was coming third in a three-person sprint. The only time I felt
embarrassed by these constant defeats was
when we arrived at the sprinkler just as a bus travelling along Canning Highway
pulled up right near where the sprinkler was positioned. All those passengers
peering out of their window as I stumbled in dead last. Sean and Tim used to time
the races so that we always finished when as bus was pulling in on that busy
highway. Oh, well, I thought. It is not so bad. It is a different set of
passengers each time. That was my considerable contribution to the glorious
athletic achievements of Sean and Tim Walsh.
Actually, I had had a similar experience back in 1956/7 when
I played in The Mt Lawley Cricket Club Colt’s Team. It was an Under 19
competition. Also, in this team were four boys from Wesley College. I went to
Aquinas College and I had seen these boys run magnificently in the Greater Public Schools Interschool
Athletic Carnivals. One of these boys was Jim Wieland who won the WA State 100
yards sprint champion trophy on several occasions. The other boys were the
Hawkins brothers whose name I have unfortunately forgotten. The oldest boy was
Kim and he had two younger twin brothers.
They all could run like the wind over any distance from 100 to 880
yards.
When we were fielding the Hawkins boys were at First, Second and Third Slip. Jim was in the Gully and I
was at Point. For those not familiar with cricket ( I know this blog is read by
people in Russia) imagine an analogue clock face with the batsmen in the centre
of that clock face. The slips, gully and point positions would run down from
the 12 o-clock position to 9-0 clock, which would be me fielding at Point.
Now when a batsman square cuts a ball, it generally goes
between gully and point and so Jim and I would be expected to chase after the
ball. However, these Wesley boys were very competitive. Whenever the ball was
cut near the slips, gully or point Jim, the Hawkins boys and I (sometimes) would all set off after it. Often,
it would be hit nearer to me. For a while I would be in front but not for long.
As sure night follows day, Jim and the Hawkins boys would flash past me in pursuit of the ball. Being passed by Jimmy
Wieland and the hustling Hawkins boys
stood me in good stead for those similar experiences with Tim and Sean Walsh
and again, in my later years, almost anybody out for a stroll.
In fact, the only time I was really embarrassed because of
my viscous running style was when I was principal at Three Springs Primary
School in the early 1980s. I was coerced to go in a Community Fun Run for a
good cause. Fun Run is a massive
oxymoron. I discussed
this incident in detail in my blog about jogging mentioned above. It was a run
of about ten kilometres and we sought sponsors for the worthy cause. It could
have been in support of Athletes Anonymous which is set up to talk middle aged
people out of participating in Fun Runs or Parents Versus Student sports
contests. On
this occasion I was breathlessly stumbling into the final kilometres when my
thirteen year old daughter Jane, went skipping past me with some of her high
school friends.
Now that is humiliating.