xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' The Font of Noelage: January 2018

Tuesday, 30 January 2018

Vale, Thermos Flask.

On Sunday, Lesley and I joined 54 000 of our fellow West Australians to attend the One Day International cricket match between Australia and England. It was the largest sporting gathering in Western Australian history. It was the very first game to be played in the brand, spanking new 1.5 billion-dollar Perth Stadium.

For the both of us, going to the new Perth Stadium was a real thrill. However, it was also a rather sad and bitter sweet experience. For the first time in forty years of attending cricket and football matches, we were not accompanied by what was always, for us, a source of great pleasure. I refer, of course to Thermos Flask.

Yes, for forty years at the WACA and thirty one years at Subiaco, Thermos Flask has been with us at every game, providing us with excellent hot tea, coffee or chocolate. However, Perth Stadium has banned Thermos Flask from ever attending. The new Perth Stadium is a Thermos Flask Free Zone.

This is can only be due to the many lethal terror attacks made by Thermos Flask on unsuspecting spectators. When I asked the bag inspectors at the entry gate why Thermos Flask was being denied entry, I was told in serious tones that it was “For security reasons.”

Apparently, Thermos, unknown to us, has an international reputation for terrorist attacks at major sporting events. Of course, nobody knows of these dastardly attacks because Border Force, ASIO and Rupert Murdoch have kept the terrifying news from us, no doubt for our own safety and wellbeing.

Naturally, we value our safety and wellbeing, but we shall miss Thermos, especially at half time on a wintry night in July.

On the other hand, I imagine the coffee sellers at the ground are very, very happy. What a shame they do not sell hot tea and hot chocolate?

Vale Thermos Flask. Gone, but not forgotten. You always gave us such a warm, refreshing feeling.

We will miss you.